Faux pas-ing our way through Japan
That's what the Bloom family seems to be at times.
One giant faux pas fumbling their way around Tokyo, all eyes (very discreetly) on us.
The Japanese take painstaking measures to not call attention to themselves or their immediate surroundings.
We naturally have that attention, first of all, because we are foreign. Nothing you can do about that one.
Then, there are 6 of us. I think we are viewed as somewhat of a freak show with 4 children. I don't think the Japanese know about or would even believe the 10, 12, 15 kid families back in various parts of Michigan.
OK, then we have bright colored clothes, the boys hair is way too long, (both boys just received notice from school that their hair needs to be cut).
We wear sunglasses. (Only the Japanese mafia wear them), and we talk loudly and occasionally yell suddenly at one of the kids in public. Especially Ira.... You should see all of us on a train platform, waiting for the next train. It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Then here we come....
big hummer-type stroller bouncing down the steps, kids with plastic swords making every sound effect imaginable, baby, "bah bah bah"-Ira and I usually arguing about *something*.
"JOE! don't get so close to the edge!
KEVIN! stop waving the sword!
"SOMEBODY GRAB THE BABY HURRY! "
(me) : IRA! STOP yell-ing..... oops. shh!
But our kids are still not used to the cars and traffic. Where we come from in Colorado, you drive everywhere. So, occasionally, one of the kids wanders into the street when we are walking somewhere without noticing the cars. So as you see cars flying down the road, it is just natural to suddenly YELL at the kid to GET OUT of the ROAD!
Now the Japanese people are just not used to yelling, or loud talk (in public anyway). And twice now when Ira has made a sudden, sharp YELL at one of the kids out of the blue I have seen a couple of people, who happened to be very near us sort of do this ducking or recoiling type motion with their body in fear. Like there was some crazy type person behind them that was hurling something. It was quite funny, but actually at the time I was really embarrassed.
Then, one day, we were out somewhere and one of the kids was relentless about something---I forget what it was and they just wouldn't let it go. Ira was at his wits end, arguing, and it takes a whole lot to get Ira angry, but then finally he was so mad he just yelled and took the stroller and shoved it really hard (no, the baby wasn't in it).
There happened to be a handful of Japanese people witnessing this--and of course we just added to the stereotypical rude, uncontrollable, immature, bad parenting Americans. --oh and this all happened at an art museum--at a Picasso exhibit no less.
Eventually you kind of just start to not care so much, I mean, it's almost expected of you anyway so why not?
Here is a picture taken at an entrance to a restraunt.
One giant faux pas fumbling their way around Tokyo, all eyes (very discreetly) on us.
The Japanese take painstaking measures to not call attention to themselves or their immediate surroundings.
We naturally have that attention, first of all, because we are foreign. Nothing you can do about that one.
Then, there are 6 of us. I think we are viewed as somewhat of a freak show with 4 children. I don't think the Japanese know about or would even believe the 10, 12, 15 kid families back in various parts of Michigan.
OK, then we have bright colored clothes, the boys hair is way too long, (both boys just received notice from school that their hair needs to be cut).
We wear sunglasses. (Only the Japanese mafia wear them), and we talk loudly and occasionally yell suddenly at one of the kids in public. Especially Ira.... You should see all of us on a train platform, waiting for the next train. It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Then here we come....
big hummer-type stroller bouncing down the steps, kids with plastic swords making every sound effect imaginable, baby, "bah bah bah"-Ira and I usually arguing about *something*.
"JOE! don't get so close to the edge!
KEVIN! stop waving the sword!
"SOMEBODY GRAB THE BABY HURRY! "
(me) : IRA! STOP yell-ing..... oops. shh!
But our kids are still not used to the cars and traffic. Where we come from in Colorado, you drive everywhere. So, occasionally, one of the kids wanders into the street when we are walking somewhere without noticing the cars. So as you see cars flying down the road, it is just natural to suddenly YELL at the kid to GET OUT of the ROAD!
Now the Japanese people are just not used to yelling, or loud talk (in public anyway). And twice now when Ira has made a sudden, sharp YELL at one of the kids out of the blue I have seen a couple of people, who happened to be very near us sort of do this ducking or recoiling type motion with their body in fear. Like there was some crazy type person behind them that was hurling something. It was quite funny, but actually at the time I was really embarrassed.
Then, one day, we were out somewhere and one of the kids was relentless about something---I forget what it was and they just wouldn't let it go. Ira was at his wits end, arguing, and it takes a whole lot to get Ira angry, but then finally he was so mad he just yelled and took the stroller and shoved it really hard (no, the baby wasn't in it).
There happened to be a handful of Japanese people witnessing this--and of course we just added to the stereotypical rude, uncontrollable, immature, bad parenting Americans. --oh and this all happened at an art museum--at a Picasso exhibit no less.
Eventually you kind of just start to not care so much, I mean, it's almost expected of you anyway so why not?
Here is a picture taken at an entrance to a restraunt.
posted by Katrina at
3:54 PM
3 Comments:
They must wonder why you are taking pictures of clothes, crows, and signs...
Maybe they are thinking you arer some sore of CIA person.
That reminds me of your dad when the neighbors discovered maps and a short wave radio in his emptyy house in San Jose and theough he was part of the invasion force to take place on the Osa Peninsula. He spent the weekend in custody or unti;l he got hios lawyer to spring him.
I can't wait to get there to start talking to everyone on the bus, etc. In Finland, one of the cardinal social rules is: don't talk to anyone on the bus. I did once, to a young bpoy whom I assumed could s[peak English, and he was frozen in terror. Heads snapped around, everuyone gawked, but not know the cardinal social rule, I kept talking.
They must wonder why you are taking pictures of clothes, crows, and signs...
Maybe they are thinking you are some sort of CIA person.
That reminds me of your dad when the neighbors discovered maps and a short wave radio in his empty house in San Jose and thought he was part of the invasion force to take place on the Osa Peninsula. He spent the weekend in custody until he got his lawyer to spring him.
I can't wait to get there to start talking to everyone on the bus, etc. In Finland, one of the cardinal social rules is: "Don't talk to anyone on the bus." I did once, to a young bpoy whom I assumed could speak English, and he was frozen in terror. Heads snapped around, everyone gawked, but I did not know the cardinal social rule and I kept talking and asking him questions. Dumb American.
In France, with my limited knowledge of the language I kept asking directions using the imperative. I was reminded that one should begin each question with a "S'il vous plait." No problems after that.
Wonderful post, Katrina. I wonder what it all means in general, the existence and maintenance of social rules, to put it abstractly. Marsha and I belong to a church next door to MSU that has a sizeable international ministry. We have many Koreans, Phillipinos, Japanese, Africans of various countries, and others from other countries coming to our church regularly. I have had a few friendships with internationals over the years, especially an Indonesian some years back who was troubled by Islam in his own highly complex country. I've wracked my memory, but I can't say that I've ever had the thought that one of these vistors had committed some kind of faux pas akin to Ira's yelling. We live in this wildly diverse country, and in a wildly diverse town, as small and insignificant as it is, greater Lansing, that is. The rules are so loose that it feels almost impossible to break them. You can just about do or say anything in any social setting up to certain very broad limits. I enjoy thinking about those limits and talking to internationals about how they perceive those limits, which they seem to have little trouble understanding. (They understand them, but find the lack of rules and the looseness of the rules to be very disconcerting. The aggressive friendliness and easy loquacity of Americans appears to be most disconcerting to visitors.) The diversity of the culture over here is probably one cause of this. I often drive past the big Islamic Center on Harrison Road and within a couple blocks pass by internationals walking with their familes along the sidewalks of Spartan Village. So much is permissable and unremarkable in social settings in America. Is this good or bad or something in between? Are stronger social rules better? I don't know, but your post has caused me to reflect a lot on this over the holiday weekend here. Thanks.
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